Are You Inspired?

Without thinking about it for too long-what is the first thing that pops into your mind when you wake up in the morning? It is; oh no! or Oh Yes! And don’t try to tell yourself that it is neither because that just isn’t so. All your thoughts whether they are thoughts of getting them family off for the day, getting yourself together or whatever, have their root in a feeling of oh no or oh yes.

If the answer is oh yes, that’s great, you are either achieving your goals or well on your way. So obviously if the answer is no then some adjustments need to be made. What adjustments? That totally depends on you.

You can start, today, to change any aspect of your life that is less than fulfilling. No matter where you are or what you do, you can find something that brings you joy; in your work, in your hobbies, in your home, it really does not matter as long as it is something that you love doing, being or having. And that feeling of joy will carry over into the parts of your life that you are less than inspired by. Someone told me once that life is like a sandwich; if you eat the crust first then all that is left is the best tasting part of the sandwich. How does that relate to being inspired? When you know that you have that thing that you love then you can joyfully take care of the less appealing responsibilities of your life and that just the thought of your source of happiness (the center of the sandwich) begins to permeate your life because you know you have it so you will wake up and say YES!

Reflecting

So the new year is almost here and that means it is time to schedule a review of the past year. Time to sit down with your goal list and your journal and see if you hit all your goals, to see if you spent the year doing the things that take you to success and happiness.

But that does not mean that if you discover that you didn’t meet your goals you should feel guilty. Not at all. All that it would mean is that you need to take a look at your why and take a harder look at your goal list.

Are you sitting there thinking ‘Why? What does she mean why!” Your why is what gets you up in the morning, it what keeps you in action even when you aren’t seeing results yet. And it needs to be strong enough to pull you over the hurdles of life. And your why can change so that another reason to do the year end review.

Think about what is referred to as ‘empty nesters’ Usually these are people who used their children as their why and when the children are gone they have a period of adjustment. Apollo astronauts were reported to have become depressed after accomplishing their mission because they achieved their goals and didn’t have other items on their lists. Their why was all wrapped up in the mission.

When you are doing this review, you should be looking not only at the goals you hit but also the ones you almost hit. And then take a look at the ones you never even got close on; are they really things that you want to do? And if they are, then why aren’t they done? It may be that it is time for a whole new set of goals, things that you really want. After you finish making that new goal list ask yourself; what will having this do for me? What will it mean to achieve this? Get clear on why you want what you want and you will find that getting it is easier than you thought.

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to wish everyone the merriest of Christmas’ and a happy new year, and to leave you with one thought to ponder;

For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Proverbs 23:7

What is it that you think in your heart?

Tis the Season

It has been reported that many people fall into depression around this time of year. Some think its because of the holidays, some because of the short, cold days of winter but it really doesn’t matter what they say the cause is-depression is not a good thing.

Did you notice that I used the terminology ‘fall into depression’? That is because depression is like a hole in the ground, if you stand too close to the edge of the hole, the ground can give way and you can fall into that hole. What do I mean? Well, depression starts with dark thoughts; thoughts of bad things, bad times, bad whatever. Everyone has a bad day every once in a while, but if you can’t shake that off and look forward instead of at what happened--looking into the past, then you will soon find is that all you think about are the things that are less than pleasing to you. Do that for long enough and you will become depressed. And yeah, I know that people sometimes have really bad things happen but I also know that everyone has something good that they can keep their attention on instead of focusing on problems.

Oh you say that depression is biological and the medical community does not define a cause? The mind and body link has been clearly documented in medical studies, over and over again.

So what am I saying? No matter what your circumstances are there is much for you to be grateful for, much for you to be happy about and if you think about these good things and never allow yourself to dwell on any negative things, you will never ‘fall’ into depression and who knows, great things might just begin to happen for you. If this is a challenge remember the best way to get past a rough patch is to find something that is bigger than your problem, find someone that needs your help, find a project that you love to do, find something that makes you look outside instead of inside for things to think about.

Got Your Mind Made Up?

What could you do if you made up your mind you were going to do it? The answer is pretty much anything. Anything. And here is the secret to getting what you want; don’t give up. It really is true that quitters never win and winners never quit. That is reality even if you think it sounds trite.

I’ll give you a few examples; Col Harlan Sanders got 1009s No’s before he got his first yes.  Thomas Edison found over 1000 ways the incandescent bulb would NOT work before he found one way that would. Henry Ford went bankrupt more than once before he founded the Ford Motor Company. One thing they all had in common was that they never quit.

I share this information to remind you that you will have some challenges. Everything will not be perfect but if you don’t quit or give up, you will end up with success. So here is another example;  you. When each and every one of us was born, we could not walk, we could not talk, feed or clothe our self nor drive and countless other skills I could mention and yet little by little we learned to do these things. We never gave up we just tried until we succeeded. Failure was never even an option. If we could walk we were going to do it. If we could speak, we did. And at each of our endeavors we practiced until we got good at it. Two things were going on then. Determination and effort.

And that is how it is in life. No matter if you find a way that doesn’t work or even a thousand. If it takes more than a day, a week or a year, no matter how spectacularly you fail, if you stay determined, stay in belief and keep taking action, you will succeed.

‘Word Association’

Today I was listening to one of my Jim Rohn audios and it just so happened that it was one where he speaks of influence. In essence he says; who am I around? What have they got me saying? What have they got me thinking? and Is that okay? Good questions right?

But not only are these questions about the people you are around, live and in person, these are questions about what you watch on the television, what you listen to on the radio, and read in newspapers and magazines.

What you watch, listen to, or read has every bit as much influence on you as the people you associate with. And that influence is critical to your health, your wealth and your happiness. You may think that there is no connection but let me illustrate.

An acquaintance of mine is having a challenge financially. He watches financial news networks every day & says the economy is to blame for his woes, while another acquaintance of mine, who watches no such programs has seen his business vastly increase this year. And I have a friend that listens to talk radio all day long. In conversation, the ideas and opinions he hears are evident. He also has a list of health issues as long as your arm. You don't see any connections? Negative information has a negative effect on you. Always. On the days he is unable to listen to the radio at work his list of ailments is shorter. Negative information creates dis-ease. Dis-ease is the source of disease. Happy people are healthy people. Nuff said?

So ask yourself; who am I around? What have they got me saying? What have they got me thinking? and Is that okay?

Forgive and Forget?

So if you read my last post and did the gratitude exercise its time to take that a step further. If you didn’t go read it now and make that list then come back.

Okay, now that we are all ready and we have our lists in front of us, look at the list and write on a separate sheet of paper how the things you are grateful for make you feel. If there is no passion in your gratitude then it is time for a shift. Usually that shift involves forgiveness. Yeah, I know. You don’t see the connection. You aren’t mad at the things you are thankful for so where am I going?

Anger and guilt are the two feelings that block most peoples joy. When you feel guilt or anger it clouds everything in your life. And here is the funny part of that; most people feel that anger and guilt for themselves. Oh sure, you might, well ok, you probably have anger for others but that pales in comparison to what you dish out to yourself.

And how do I know this? Take a look around you. See all those people who overeat? Are depressed? Drink too much? Maybe do drugs? Gamble a lot? Shop? This is only a partial list of self-destructive behaviors but it illustrates what I am saying about anger and guilt. Self-loathing is the cause for self-destruction and that comes from refusing to forgive yourself and others. You just have to let it go and start seeing the good in yourself. And in others.

And why am I going on and on about forgiving yourself when this post is really about forgiving others? Because when you start to see that you are your own worst critic, that you did internalize every critical word said to you by others, that you punish yourself for not being perfect, only then can you start to let go of that and understand that A) nobody is perfect B) everyone makes mistakes and C) most of us don’t do things that hurt others on purpose-we don’t set out to be ‘bad’ then you can choose to live a life of compassion and forgiveness, you can see that being human means being imperfect and that is never equal to being unlovable.

Learn to forgive yourself and forgiving others is a piece of cake. Start today. Write down what you are good at, what is good about you and what you can get better at with practice or determination. Change the way you look at yourself and the self you look at will change.

Rest in Peace Jim

If you are a fan of self growth then you have no doubt heard of Jim Rohn. If you have not, I strongly suggest that you find some of his material and study it because he was one of the greatest of our time. Think about that; one of the greatest of our time--in a time of giants.

Jim died over the weekend but he left a wealth of audios, videos and books which contain enough information to fill a library. My own personal library has quite a bit of Jim in it and I cherish every bit of it.

I leave you with a few of Jim's quotes;

For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better.

What happens, happens to us all. Its what you do about what happens....

Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you.

Profits are better than wages. Wages make you a living; profits make you a fortune.

Affirmation without discilpine is the beginning of delusion.

Income seldom exceeds personal development.

What you become directly influences what you get.

Nothing teaches character better than generosity.

A Bit of ‘Tude on Tuesday

Yeah that’s right, gonna be talking about your ‘tude today. If you can make the connection between your attitude and everything about your life & you are living into that then congratulations, you are on the right track. But if you are not, then this posts for you.

I can’t tell you how much my life has improved since I realized that I had a bad attitude and changed it. Today I have an attitude of gratitude and that has made all the difference.

So how do you know if you have a bad attitude? it’s in the little things usually. Say you go shopping, there are great deals, you run into some old friends that you haven’t seen for a long time, you find exactly what you wanted in record time and yet later when someone asks you about your day you say something like; I had a terrible time finding a parking space. Or say your child cleans his or her room and asks you to come look. Everything looks great but one little thing. You may not say anything to the child but it was so very noticeable to you. Sort of like going into a hotel room in Hawaii, looking out the window and seeing only the water spots on the glass instead of the view. Perhaps your partner wants to buy a car or a house and all you think about it the taxes or insurance costs. You try a new restaurant and the food is all great except one side dish was not warm enough. When someone asks you about the restaurant you only mention the side dish that you didn’t like. These examples could go on but I think you get my point.

Know anyone that always complains? A complaint is the opposite of gratitude and I think if you give it much thought or study you will notice that the persons list of complaints never end because his or her life never improves. Why is that? Because they focus on what they don’t like. What you focus on increases. So spend some time every day thinking about what was great and if that is a challenge then spend 5 minutes every day making a list of at least 5 things you are grateful for. Seriously-take a look around you and see that you are surrounded by things to be grateful for.

Stay the Course!

Determination. What does that word mean to you? To me it is part decision, part discipline and part orneriness because you have to have decided what it is that you want, you have to take the actions that will make it happen and you have to be stubborn enough to never give up even when faced with apparent failure.

Thomas Edison tried thousands of times to invent a working incandecent light bulb before he finally succeeded. Henry Ford went bankrupt several times before he became wealthy. these are but two examples of many people who have wanted something and been unwilling to give up until they got it.

I believe that Edison said it best when asked about all his previous failures to invent the incandecent bulb; “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

So what could you achieve in life if you had a dream and you never saw failure in anything? What could you do if you were determined?

Let’s Review….

It occurs to me that a regular visit to the elements of self growth is probably a good idea.

And since I am brimming with good ideas, I think that we should start with expectations, which come from your beliefs. So you may be asking; then why not start with beliefs? Ah, here's the thing—you do not always know what your true belief is. So that is the value of examining your expectations because that reveals your true belief.

You can fool yourself on your beliefs until it is time to take action, then its out there but you have to pay attention. Let me give you an example;

My friend, we shall call her Lana today, is a very kind soul and she decided to help out a former neighbor by giving him a place to stay for a few days. The second day he was there she noticed a pack of her cigarettes (yes, but we do not judge people here)  missing. When she asked him if he took a pack, he said yes, but he was going to replace them. She told him that he should have asked, and that she expected him to ask in the future. The next morning she went for a walk but before she left she counted the cigarettes in her pack and sure enough, when she got back one of them was gone. She expected him to take it and he did. Her belief was negative and the result was negative. In life there is no mulligan so we cannot prove that her belief/expectation was the cause of the result.

That is a small and somewhat unusual example but I know that if you really give it some thought you can see examples of people in your life that did exactly what you ‘expected’ them to do. Especially when the expectation was negative. I know people that ‘expect’  to be sick on important days, or to have car trouble. Ever hear the words (or say them) ‘I knew it……’ Ever hear of Murphy’s Law? That is a perfect example of negative expectations. You think its true because that is life instead of seeing that it is true because that is your belief. Your beliefs create your life. So start paying attention to what it is that you ‘expect’ every day.

I end this post with a quote;

You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your experience. The David that you are sculpting is you. And you do it with your thoughts.

Joe Vitale

As If

Ever gotten the advice ‘act as if’ you already have whatever it is that you want? Now, when I was new to this sort of self growth stuff that advice seemed waaayyy out there. For some of the things I wanted I had no experience with what it felt like to have it so how was I supposed to act? Not a clue. Or else what I wanted involved others and ‘acting’ just wasn’t going to work. Or was it……

Yeah, I gave it some thought and what I realized was what they were really saying was how do you feel when you have something that you wanted? Security, a relationship, that new job, whatever it is that you wanted, how do you feel? You feel happy, you feel serene, you feel grateful, you feel good. And now that you know this you can see that acting as if is all about feeling that feeling of whatever it is that you want to call it, that feeling of joy and satisfaction. There is not a person alive that has not experienced some sort of personal satisfaction; in winning something, in falling in love, in getting a good job, or a great review at your job, something, anything that made you feel great, that is the feeling of as if.

So start acting ‘as if’ today and see for yourself that it works.

In Your Heart of Hearts

The expression in your heart of hearts is meant to reveal what it is deep down inside that you truly believe, desire or think. One thought that we all have deep down inside is the thought of unworthiness.

What do I mean by unworthiness? I mean that people have a poor self-image or low self-esteem, it really doesn’t matter what you call it. And in comes up in thoughts like ‘if they only knew the real me’ or ‘why can’t I be more like….’ and you can fill in the blank. What is the most interesting thing about this is that most of us don’t realize that everyone has these thoughts. Yeah, I know that you are sitting there thinking uhuh, not so and so, he/she thinks too much of his/her self. Oh contrare; so and so simply bluffs. And it gets even more interesting; you can be totally confident in your ability to do or have something and yet be totally lacking confidence in every or many other areas of your life. And that is why you may see so and so looking ever so poised all the time.

But you say this can not be so? Surely not for everyone! It is true for everyone that has not come to the true realization that we are all human and we are not going to be perfect all of the time or really any of the time. Think of it this way; why do you love the people that you love? Like the people that you like? Are they more special than you? You might tell yourself that they have this that or the other quality that you lack but that is just a story you made up. We all have the capacity & capability to generate what we choose to generate. And anyone you envy; are they better than you? No. More talented? No. And yet, some of you are sitting there thinking that you must be something other than who you are to be worthy. True self worth comes from within and never from anywhere else. If you have any thoughts of inadequacy than decide today to let that go. Embrace the fact that you are the only you on the planet and you are the best you there is. Nobody can be you better than you can. Remember what Shakespeare said; ‘To thine own self be true.’ Which is better; imitation vanilla or real vanilla? When you are authentically you the life you lead will be one you can be confident in, knowing that we all are the same deep down inside.

Had Enough Yet?

I wrote this several months ago and I don’t know why I didn’t post it but the message is good at any time of the year so here you go;

It has rained here so much lately that when I look out my window in the morning and see another cloudy, rainy day I wonder if I moved to Seattle and forgot to tell me.

In all of the years I have been here I have never seen the river rise so high in October, right now it is already at flood stage and more rain is expected.

All of this rain and clouds affects people but it also affects flora and fauna in more ways that you might realize. Take moles for example. Moles seem to have multiplied in our little village for the last several years. Many people have spend countless hours and dollars trying to get rid of all the moles. Usually just before winter the moles seem to do their worst damage but not this October. I haven’t heard a complaint or seen a mole run for weeks.

What is my point today? Into every life some rain must fall and sometimes it is a lot of rain but that rain is for a reason. Maybe you can’t see any reason now but that doesn’t mean there is no reason or that eventually the rain will end, sunny skies will return and change will have happened. When your life is full of rain it may be difficult to think of anything else but it can be done if you trust that the rain will end and concentrate on your blessings. Remember that life is a journey and like any journey into a new place, what you see along the way might not be anything like what you expected but you will be grateful for that when you arrive. The key is to stop thinking about the rain and start planning for the sunshine.

What are you always thinking about?

Today I read one of Chris Widener’s ezine articles and the author quoted a book by James Allen called ‘As A Man Thinketh’ I have read the book and it is a good one, originally came out many years ago so you can find it online for free but there are also updated versions you can buy at major bookstores and online in many places. I recommend you at least read the free ebook. But I digress…. the quote is;

“A Person is the causer (though nearly always unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at the good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end.” and what I would like you to take away from this is that you are who you think you are, you get what you think about and you control your thoughts or they control you and your life.

Ever had something dominate your thoughts? Like worrying about a family member, money, traffic or really any situation that you hated and didn’t want to have happen but sure enough, it did. Or maybe its happening right now. If you could understand that your thoughts of the problem are what brings it to you then you could understand that all you have to do is decide to think about something else. Sounds easy right? It is and it isn’t. If you have spent your life thinking about the times you don’t want then it is a habit. New habits of thought can be formed but it does take discipline and you can start today. If you have a thought of worry or negativity replace it with several minutes of goal setting, sing your favorite song to yourself, read something inspirational or think about all of the good things that have ever happened to you. Remember you and only you control what you think.

As Mike Dooley says: Thoughts become things; choose the good ones!!!

You be the Judge?

Okay, I’m back now and my computer is working great. And now is the perfect time to discuss forgiveness.

Recently I read something about the ‘Law of Forgiveness’ and it struck me that I don’t really believe in that ‘law’. Why is that? Because if you think you have something to forgive then that thought came from a thought of judgment. To me, judging is so not our job and not only that, judging keeps happiness away. As Jesus said; ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.’ Are you without sin? Me neither.

But here's the rub; we are taught to judge, its like mothers milk. Its beyond a habit and can be very hard to let go of but once you make a start you will find that you are a much happier person. Now this does not mean that, for example, you go into a diner and order the special but to you it tastes terrible. Granted, that is a judgment call and yet, if you notice that I wrote to you instead of just saying that it tasted terrible then you see that technically it is still a judgment it is not a sweeping one that decides for all if the special tastes terrible or great.

So the simple to acquire habit of the words ‘to me’ can make a huge difference is your ‘judgments’ and ultimately, to your happiness. Now lets have another example; person A and person B are supposed to be friends. Person C comes along and says something about person A to person B. Person B stops talking to person A. Person D tells person A what person C said to person B. And it is not true. Should person A be mad at person C? No. To be angry calls for lots of judging; that person C said anything at all, that person C lied, and that the universe didn’t arrange this to happen for a reason. Person C could have truly believed what he or she said, if he or she said anything at all. Person C could have said anything and person B could have simply asked person A if it was true. And this is how it is in life; you think you have enough information to make that judgment and yet-do you? Likely not. Not to mention the fact that if you declined to have thoughts about it at all, how much happier and serene would you be? Any thoughts of he said, she said invariably take you to a place of unhappiness. Who chooses to go there voluntarily?

More on this later……

Wouldn’t that be interesting?

Today I realized that my drafts have not been getting posted consistently. Neither are my husbands. Each of us thought the other was handling that. There are two ways of looking at that. Well, okay, there are more than two but I am only going to be writing about two, so there.

One is the thought of anger, you know it well I’m sure; If you want something done right, do it yourself. But anger is not only not productive, it is downright detrimental to you. So the  other way of looking at it is; everything happens exactly as it is supposed to.

Are you sitting there thinking I am daft? I assure you that I am not. I am clear that there is my plan and then there is the master plan. The only control I have in the master plan is to ask and believe even when the route I am shown is so not looking like it could ever take me where I want to go and even when I have to be seriously uncomfortable on the journey.

And that is all you can do in your master plan too. And even though that is all you can do in the master plan you still have the responsibility to come up with your personal plan. After all, GOD, the Grand Overall Designer, does want you to dream, to act and to receive what it is that you want.

So I choose to laugh, knowing that the drafts that I have ready might just be waiting for the day when the person that needs and wants to read them the most will happen to read my blog instead of perhaps missing them because they didn’t read the archived posts. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

Tools of the Trade

Vision Boards, Affirmations, Mastermind groups, Paraliminals, Visualizations/Meditation, Book, Audios, Movies…the list goes on and on. So how does a person know where to start on that path to self growth?

You listen to that inner voice. You read the pitch, the dust jacket, the ad, the whatever that is telling you about the product and you listen for your inner voice. But here’s the catch-you need it all. You need to visualize what you want. You need to read, and watch and listen to things that change the way you look at everything, things that make you really think, things that help you see what's possible.

But you want more help than that don’t you? Ok, look for how the information you are taking in is making you feel. Some stuff is like cotton candy, really nice and gentle and some is like a bat upside your head-right between your eyes. Sometimes you need for someone to be blunt and sometimes you need nice, but all of the time you need what speaks to you at the place you are at right now. And that place changes as you change. Use the tools that make you feel good.

So get started. Today.

Check this out!

I just received an email that was so on point I just had to share part of  it with everyone. It came to me from Vic Conant, who heads up Nightingale-Conant, the world’s largest producer of self growth materials.

What if I were to follow you with a camera crew 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 100 days while you went for your goals?

I bet three things would happen....

1. You would START doing the things you say you need to do.
2. You would STOP doing the things you know you shouldn't be doing.
3. You would MAKE monumental performance gains and change your life.

Why? Because you would be motivated by a strong sense of accountability. Accountability serves and protects your character, credibility and commitments. It ensures that what you want to accomplish gets accomplished.

It's important to understand that ALL unfinished goals, projects and relationships, in every area of your life, are the result of broken promises, unfulfilled commitments, and lack of accountability.

I hope that as you read that you were thinking ‘that is so true!’ and maybe you were so intrigued by what you read that you visited the Nightingale-Conant website. I’m putting in the link but no guarantees; http://www.startfastfinishstrong.com/index-c.php   you can go there and check it out if you want. I’m not an affiliate or anything but the 100 day challenge is interesting isn’t it?

Even if you don’t go visit the website; what if you did a small experiment? What if you pretended that you were being filmed? Or if that isn’t motivation enough what if you have someone film you and see if you don’t start getting a lot more done in a day?

Memes

I just happened to be channel surfing recently and came across Dr Wayne Dyer presenting ‘No Excuses’. I didn’t get to see the entire presentation but what I saw fascinated me. He talked about memes or mind viruses. Hmmm, mind viruses?

I went online and found a site that had done an interview with Dr. Dyer, Coast to coast with George Noory and I want to share a quote from that; “I use the term "habitual mind," instead of what Bruce calls subconscious, said Dyer, explaining that people have a lot of "excuses" in their head as to why they can't effect change-- such as 'I'm too old,' 'I'm too busy,' etc. But when you change the way you look at things, things start to change, he commented. You can overcome limiting ideas, he advised, and not always believe everything you think-- most of what you think doesn't hold up.”

Imagine that. Imagine that most of what you believe, about wealth, about health, about people, about pretty much everything, is not something which you believe because you thought about it but because society or your parents or someone or something thought for you and you accepted it! What could you change, right now, today, if you thought something new? Is there something that you could be, do or have that you have used an excuse not to be, do or have? I believe that it is time for us all to put on our thinking caps!

I will leave you with one more quote but the origin is not known to me as I have heard it attributed to more than one source; “Change the way you see everything and everything you see will change.”

What is Success???

If you are like me then you receive a daily inspirational, a quote or some other sort of positive message everyday. I actually subscribe to several & I send one out myself.  Sending & receiving those messages of prosperity are a great way to not only enlarge your vision of what is possible but also to keep yourself focused on your goals.

There are many definitions of what success is. Many people have the mistaken notion that success is measured only in monetary units. I believe the late Earl Nightingale said it best “Success is the realization of a worthy ideal.” So think about that for a minute; it does not say anything about money. Money can certainly be a part of success but it is not the only component. How successful are you really if you are financially secure but have no love, for example? What if you have lots of money & a family but your health is poor? When you are deliberate in creating your life you understand that your thoughts manifest your life. Disease is dis ease—that is a mind that is not at ease, a mind that is not truly happy with the life that has been created. Unhappiness of any kind is the same and will bring that same dis ease into a life.

So now, are you sitting there thinking that disease is inevitable in life isn’t it? That there is no mind/body connection? I suggest to you that a study of just such a link can easily show that what I am saying is not an opinion. Science has show an indisputable mind/ body connection.  Disease is not a synonym for decline, eventually we live long enough to wear out our physical body, more on that in another post.Disease is only inevitable because not all people on the planet will likely, all at the same time, understand what it takes to live into their dreams. And they will pass that along to their circle of influence; their children, their partner, whoever they associate with for.

And what does disease have to do with success? Have I strayed from the subject? Not at all; when you have a goal or an ideal and you work toward it each and every day until the day you realize that ideal, that is the day that you are truly successful. For me, that ideal is who I am not what I am. It does not matter if I am an a butcher, a baker, a candlestick-maker or the next Oprah because everywhere I go there I am. I want to be the person I want to go places with, so my ideal is to live a life of integrity. All else falls into place when I do this. Wikipedia has an entry about integrity which starts with; Integrity is consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcome.

Maybe you wondering how? How does a person live a life of integrity? You get out your goal list. Look it over, how many goals do you have that are based on character of personal development? Do you have education goals on that list? Do you have spiritual goals? If you don’t start a new list and include  the  who you want to be on it and what it would take to achieve that. Then; ACT AS IF you already are that person. The reality is that you already are that person but somewhere in time that was forgotten. Deep inside you know this or you would do nothing to move forward in life, you would do nothing to improve the quality of your life.

Affirmations? Yes or No?

People often ask me if I recommend doing affirmations and I always reply that everyone does affirmations every day whether or not they realize that so one might as well choose the right ones. If you question that, think through an average day for yourself; are you always worried about being late? About traffic, family, money etc?  And then having what you feared the most come to pass? Repeated thoughts whether they are thoughts of increase or loss, intended to or not,will affirm. And worry thoughts are always negative because they are always caused by a lack of belief, plus worry thoughts create, not just the things you don’t want, but also negative feelings about yourself. You have to turn that ship around and affirmations can help you do that.

So what are the right affirmations? That depends. An affirmation should be custom fitted so to speak because there just isn’t a one size fits all affirmation. An affirmation can be something simple like; I can do it and I know I can or it can be complex and more along the lines of; infinite intelligence now guides me in the direction of my goals and I am grateful for all of my blessings. I prefer simple but with variety so I may just thank God for all of the wealth, success, health and happiness in my life. I also tend to think of a song whenever I do an affirmation, often its the theme to Star Trek Enterprise because music makes putting emotion behind my desire easier. For the next few days, pay attention to songs that evoke a good feeling for you, whether those are theme songs or elevator music doesn’t matter. I coached a lady, Kara and the theme song she chose was from Sponge Bob Square Pants.  The only rule about songs is that they must bring a positive feeling to you. Why? Because good things happen when you feel good. I have covered that before. I know that some people sing their ‘theme’ song to themselves whenever they find themselves in a tense or stressful situation without attaching any affirmation.

What an affirmation should not be; a request. A request would make it a contradiction,  you have already placed your order now its time to believe, not only that you will have what you want but that you are worthy of having what you want.

So go ahead, empower yourself because take it from me—you are worthy, you do deserve and you can do, be and have what you want. Affirmations are a reminder that if you keep your focus on what you DO want & take action every day, you CAN achieve whatever you want. You can do it and I know you can.

The Ultimate Source of Happiness

I know its too simple an answer. I know that people want it to be some secret ritual, formula or tool that they can use—something external that they can acquire to make them happy but the truth of the matter is that happiness comes from within. That the secret to happiness is feeling good. All the time.

And I know that some of you are reading this and thinking, this is ridiculous, how can a person who got fired from their job or lost a loved one feel good? Reread that last paragraph, I said simple I didn’t say easy. When you experience a loss of any kind, you will also experience grief, that is just human nature, but it is in the way that you think about your loss that determines your true feelings. If you get that change is really the norm of life and that in order for new things to come to you--like a job that is more to your liking or takes to your goals faster—some old things must fall away. And as for grief about the loss of a loved one, I know some of you will not like this but I don’t believe that I can be anything less than blunt; you are feeling sorry for yourself (and that is okay because after all you just lost something very special to you, something irreplaceable) but truly, these sorts of occurrences are not common occurrences is most peoples lives now are they.

But what is common is for people to wake up in the morning and have thoughts of dread; dreading school, traffic, their schedule or work or whatever they have going on that they see as a struggle. These people wake up to a feeling of unhappiness and the day usually goes according to that feeling. Think about when you go on vacation; do you even need an alarm clock to wake you up? Probably not and yet on other days don’t you have to have one and likely it must have a snooze button? The only real difference between a vacation morning and non-vacation morning is how you are feeling. So what if you decide to wake up everyday as if you are on vacation? Being unhappy is disbelief; in your supply, in your ability, in your future and/or in what's possible. We are always unhappy when we do not trust (believe) that everything will work out to our satisfaction and promotion.

So let’s opt for happiness. I do know that most of you have not yet created a life that you love. You have to start somewhere and that somewhere is always decision. You make a choice as to what it is that you truly want, you put goals in writing, form a plan and work on your plan everyday. Then you get feedback from the universe blocking you when you are trying to force it & throwing opportunities (that may not look like opportunities at the time) in your path when you are allowing. And sometimes, you are going to be very uncomfortable in your growth. Why? Because you can’t see how what is happening now can possibly take you to where you want to go maybe or maybe you are doing things you never thought you would want to do, like say, gasp, public speaking. Later when you look back you are going to see that it was all necessary and not so bad after all not to mention it turned out even better than you had even planned.

To be happy is a choice; its a decision to enjoy life. And as I said before, sometimes things will happen that are uncomfortable. When this happens it is one of two things; growing pains or else your predominate thoughts are of what you don’t want not what you do want. The former is temporary and necessary to get you to where you want to go the latter will only get worse until you focus and think about your goals to the exclusion of all other possible outcomes.

So now you have decided to be happy where do you start? The easiest way is to count your blessings. No matter where you are there is so much to be thankful for and true gratitude will always bring a smile and that feeling of peace, serenity and happiness. So make a list right now and be grateful for the ability to do so.

Getting ‘Unstuck’

It’s easy to get stuck. You just let one negative or unproductive thought loop around in your head and voila’ you are stuck. What is not as easy is to get unstuck. It’s replacing a bad habit with a good one and while it is simple it is not always easy. It has been my experience that people commonly become stuck in relationships, self-worth and money but a person can be stuck in any aspect of their life. Same principles apply for getting unstuck.

1. Recognize that you are stuck. See that you are repeating the same thoughts over & over and getting results that you don’t like.

2. Find something that is more pleasing to occupy your thoughts.

I received an email from someone about two years ago. He was in dire financial straits and saw no way out. I called him and during the conversation I got him to see that all he ever really thought about was money (or his lack of it) & to change things he needed something else to think about. A bit later he mentioned he liked to cook. I suggested that he replace his thoughts of money with thoughts of food, of recipes etc. I kept in contact with him weekly and in less than thirty days he had started turning his life around. He had focused on entertaining on a shoestring and mentioned it to a friend. That friend hired him to be his ‘party assistant’. Within six months this man was so busy he was thinking about taking on a partner. When his focus changed so did his life.

I recently spoke with a young lady who was unhappy with her fiancé. I told her that if she could only think about the qualities or behaviors of his that she did not like then she might as well not marry him because those would only increase. I asked her what about him made her love him in the beginning. She told me and I advised her to think thoughts of those good qualities and let go of those negative thoughts about him.  She called me back less than a week later to thank me because they were now getting along so much better and she could now see that she created negativity so when she released it positive feelings could prevail.

And thanks are the second part of being unstuck. You become what you think about and what you thank about. If you aren’t grateful for things it’s because you either take your good for granted (and it will soon be gone) or else what you have already created is very negative you can no longer see what there is to be grateful for. So you need to start a gratitude list. You need to see that no matter how bad you think about have it (and stop doing that please!) there is still much to be thankful for. Be thankful for the goodness that is now coming into your life-even if you haven’t seen it yet. Replace thoughts of what you don’t like with thanks for everything you DO like.

Your life is yours to create. If you don’t like what you have created so far, take responsibility. Don’t blame anyone or anything not even yourself. Whatever your life is; good, bad or boring, you had something to learn and now that it is  learned you can create something new and if you like-something wonderful.

Go Ahead-Give it to Yourself!!

Ever heard the expression ‘He or she is his/her own worst enemy’? Sure you have. So is it true? Usually it is. Today we will explore allowing and self-sabotage.

If you’re sitting there thinking that this is something that you do not do—think again. We all do it at some point in our life, some of us every single day. We shoot ourselves in the foot at work, with our mate, our children, friends even in our diet or exercise. And each time we do it there is a little voice inside our head saying, No, No, don’t do/say that! But we do it anyway. Why is that?

Well, there is no simple, easy answer and certainly no cure. This is a personal development issue and it requires constant effort. Now that’s not saying you can never change these habits, you can change any aspect of your life but it is saying that creep happens when you don’t pay attention. This is why personal development or self growth is a daily habit that the forward thinking person wants to cultivate.

So what answers can I give you? Self-sabotage comes from guilt, habit and belief. When it comes from guilt it is because you are not understanding that being guilty is living in the past. Guilt should last long enough for you to admit your mistake to yourself, forgive yourself and resolve not to repeat the behavior and no longer. Punishment is not required. Obviously I am not referring to criminal behavior but I find that people often have no distinctions around types of guilt and they punish themselves just as much for noncriminal offenses as they would expect for criminal ones. What a waste ! What can you do about yesterday? You can learn from it and move forward or you can live in it forever and never move forward. Your choice.

Habit and belief are adopting from those around you. It may be a family thing, maybe cultural, doesn’t matter-its simply learned behavior and if those around you spread that habit of believing that good things don’t happen to us and perhaps even told you how bad you are when scolding you for some misdemeanor then a belief that you are unworthy may have been instilled into you. But here's a secret; we all feel unworthy. Even Bill Gates, even Martha Stewart, even The Donald. Maybe not all the time, maybe rarely but everyone feels unworthy sometimes. So you need to wake up and forgive yourself. You are who you say you are—IF you want to be. Your character is totally your responsibility and totally under your control and nobody else's so you can make a mistake or two and that doesn’t make you unworthy. You can allow yourself to be and do and have more. And that will happen if you let go of that self-defeating stuff and allow.

Once you allow yourself then you can start to allow others and that is important because some part of you already knows that not allowing others to be who they are is judging. NOT YOUR JOB! Well, okay, it could be your job 9-5 so to speak but outside of work hours, not your job.  Judging is the same as anger-it steals your joy. Its a poison. And anything you tell yourself to justify judging is just a story. The best way to lead is by example. The best way to tell people your opinion about how life should be conducted is to lead your own life that way. People can see for themselves if that is true. But when you say ‘do as I say not as I do’ what you are saying is ‘this is how to stay stuck.’

Dream Stealers

 

Have you ever had a dream taken away from you or taken one away from someone else? Hope you didn’t say no because of course you have. We all have. Been victims and thieves of someone's dream.

Picture a child all excited because of something they want to do or have and parents and older siblings laughing or deriding that dream. I don’t know of any child that has not had that experience. And then we perpetuate that by doing the exact same thing to other kids. When we grow up we do that to people that confide in us about the network marketing business they want to start, in spite of the fact that mlm’s have made more six figure income earners than any ‘employer’ out there. We do that to our kids when they say they want to accomplish things that they have no idea of the work, the investment or the whatever involved. We do that to our friends or family when they tell us about an goal for weight loss, or running a marathon, getting a great job or whatever and we do it when someone shares an idea they have for a business, product or service.  But there is good news.

You don’t have to be a dream stealer after today. In fact, knowing what you now know you will be unable to steal anyone's dream ever again without feeling the guilt.

So how DO you respond when someone shares their dream and it seems impossible to you? Simple, don’t be negative. Instead of you talking and judging, ask them questions. Ask them to explain how they will make it happen. And even if they are someone that has tried and failed more than once, bite your tongue, Thomas Edison tired and failed to perfect the incandecent light bulb over 1000 times before he found the way that worked. Open up to the possibility that what they want is something that can happen. And wake up to the fact that human beings are remarkable and can do remarkable things and have done remarkable things. And age is not a factor. Bill Gates made more money when he was thirteen years old than most people make in a year when they are adults. Because nobody told him he couldn’t. And now that you are awake, its time to daydream a bit. Think of what you could be, do or have if you just had a dream and the desire to fulfill it.

May I take Your Order Please?

That’s what the Universe says to each of us every single day. And we all answer in the thoughts that dominate our mind. Understanding this makes all the difference in the world when it comes to manifesting the things that you want into your life. Some people have learned that you ask, believe and receive but when they don’t get what they ask for decide that the formula doesn’t really work.

Regular readers will know that this post is a continuation of my post ‘Do you want fries with that?’ but that’s okay, you can never visit this subject too often. So let’s start with an example; Darlene just moved to a new area, she has no job and knows very few people in this new town. Every day she wakes up and spends most of her day thinking about the need for a job. So for two months Darlene has not had a job. It isn’t that she doesn’t think positively about the Universe providing her with a job, she knows that it will happen but what she may not see is that her predominate thoughts are of the need for a job. Now let’s look at this a different way; You decide that you want to change the look of your bedroom. You look through the catalog and find the perfect bedroom set so you call and place your order. Do you tell the person that took your order that you’ll just stay on the phone til it arrives? No you do not. Because you know its coming and you have things to do. Do you think about it all the time? Probably not. You might think about related subjects like the need for different carpet (if you have carpet) or painting the walls but basically you can move on. Darlene getting a job really is no different.

Mike Dooley says it best; Do what you can, from where you are, with what you’ve got. So you want a new job; put out your resume or applications. That’s what you can do but is it all you can do? No, spend some time, not thinking about the need for a job, but in doing things that can make you more attractive to an employer. Join Toastmasters or some other group and learn to give great presentations. Volunteer somewhere. Look around your town or city for free classes. Learn more computer skills (is there any employer on the planet that hates it when you improve basic skills?) Spend a bit of time thinking of ways to hone your skills not allowing thoughts of what you don’t have to fill your time. Find things that you love to do, things that make you feel good to be alive and the Universe will respond with more things that make you happy to be alive.

When you ask and then think of little or nothing else, belief isn’t happening so receiving never can. All you are doing is asking over and over again. Get busy with something else instead. That is key to ‘acting as if’.

I will leave you with what I think is a great quote from Stephen Covey author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”; Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or as we are conditioned to see it.

Coming Soon!!!

I have decided to take a page from my husbands book and install live writer onto my computer. I beliee that by doing that I will be more likely to write better posts that are consistant. Now that's not to say that I think I am a bad writer, on the contrary, I know that I write fairly well. But, all the same, sometimes I am trying not to take any breaks because the last two times I did that I had a deuce of a time getting my stuff to publish. I dislike rewriting a post. Intensely.

What I do like though, is to write something that is worth sharing. Today I want to share with you all that I am tired of seeing my browser' home page come up and being hit in the face with all this opinion being presented as fact. Did you know that 90% of the information you receive on a daily basis is opinion and only 10% is fact? Of course my blog is no different but I am not posting a banner like; are these products as good as the ads say they are? and then having a slide show tht is no more than a commercial for various products???

Study those links and a pattern will emerge; these are people trying to make a living on the internet and many of them are simply posts for their blogs. Take the Daily Dose for example. I am not knocking Dr. Mercola or anyone else here but I think that people should THINK about what they read. Is there any evidence cited? Are they demanding you buy before any 'facts' are really revealed? Is the fact and opinion clearly delineated? Does the fact that this bothering me say something about the validity of what is being presented or my fear that people are accepting opinion as fact without any thought whatsoever? Wait, I have more faith in people than that don't I? Sadly, no don't. My faith is in those who actively stretch, those who work harder on themselves than they do on their job. Do you know many of those?

Is Necessity the Mother of Invention?

We have all heard the expression 'Necessity is the mother of invention' but I disagree; dissatisfaction is the mother of invention and I think that is just simple logic. How many things were invented because we didn't like the way we had to do them, how much time or effort something took, etc. But necessity? What is necessary and what is not? I think necessity is the mother of adaptation. Dissatisfaction can either lead to complaining and doing nothing about it or action and a solution.

I read something online today from a woman who said she and her family had tried an experiment of not complaining which wasn't very successful. She referenced a book by a man in Missouri who said we'd all be happier if we didn't complain. I beg to differ; I say we need to stop judging instead. Dissatisfaction is important because it leads us to solutions that improve things for everyone. Complaining starts fights and makes people upset. It all lives inside the 'shoulds'. An example of this would be my sister-in-law talking about the meal they had at a fancy restaurant last night. She says the soup was too cold. A judgment that when shared with the staff at the restaurant only makes them defensive and not good. What if she had said instead--The soup was not as warm as I prefer my soup? She is still complaining but in a way that gives the receipient an opportunity not to feel totally condemned. Yes, I know its not the best example but it starts us in the right direction and I wanted to use something from today. So I will try again;
Your child, who lives away from home, visits and his/her car is very dirty and has lots of 'stuff' inside. Your could complain about what a slob your child is, upsetting both of you and ruining the visit or you could say something like "I prefer to drive a clean car, it makes me feel better. The child does not feel attacked and dialogue can happen. You may find out that the child loaned the car to someone and just got it back that morning. You might find that because they didn't feel attacked the visit isn't ruined and the next time they visit the car is clean.

So now that I have given you a couple of examples you can see that what I'm saying is that complaining is okay blaming is not. The things that you want to have happen will come about much more readily if you allow someone to judge themself rather than pushing them up against the wall and making them defensive.

This is much easiler to do if you keep in mind how you feel when someone starts a conversation with you by saying to you; You should have.....

Where have I been? Does it matter?

So yeah, there I was back to blogging on a regular basis and then bam, nothing. What happened? Did I go on vacation? Go into the hospital? Just drag up? Computer crash? The reality is that is does not matter because everything happens exactly the way its supposed to whether or not we like it while its happening. And thats what I want to talk about today; the while its happening thing.

For many of us, when we start to learn about the 'law of attraction' for those of you that prefer that expression, that 'thoughts become things' for others and straight up--when you learn that you are the creator of your life, but I digress. When you learn that you are creating every minute of every day you might become excited about that and decide you want these great big 'dreams' to come true. And then when they don't happen right away or horror, what seems like the opposite happens, you start to doubt that the thoughts that you think create the things in your life. And you start to shut down. And you may become more pessimestic about everything. And lots of bad stuff might happen as a result of those pessimestic thoughts, when the reality was a more likely; this is what it looked like while it was happening!

Yes, I do mean that the Universe may take you to a place that looks a million miles away from what you wanted.The main reason I have found for that is because you were likely deciding on the HOW. Case in point; I know a guy, Dan, who decided to seek his fortune by opening his own body shop. He had lots of training & skills for this and big dreams for his life. And when he learned about manifesting he decided his shop was his ticket to financial freedom.He took lots of risks with his business, sure that next month and then the next month and so on, that the risks would pay off. But no; Dan lost everything. And after that he had to start over. It was devastating to him & his family. He got a job in another body shop thinking that this would be his life until retirement but a funny thing happened.

He was working at that body shop for less than a year when a particular customer came in with a car he was restoring. He wanted a custom paint job on that car and Dan was very well know for his painting skills. That customer was very impressed with Dan's work and offered him a job at his marina, in the boat shop. Dan went to work for the man and was soon promoted to running the shop at the marina. Over the next five years, Dan and the man became good friends & when the man retired he sold the marina to Dan. That was over ten years ago and today Dan is a wealthy man. He has tripled the size and scope of the marina and now makes over a million dollars a year doing something he loves.

The last time that Dan and I spoke he told me that he never really enjoyed working in a body shop. He liked that he had good skills but never loved cars all that much but that he had always had a passion for boats and water sports. The universe knew what was right for Dan and it knows what is right for you. Sometimes it can be tricky to understand what the universe is trying to say but remember;
Don't try to figure out the HOW, either do what you are already doing but do it better or do what you love.

Stay away from should's there are no should's or shouldn'ts

Pay attention to hurdles, walls and roadblocks. Jump a hurdle but don't try to force a wall or roadblock--you venture into the hows. Sometimes the universe takes you through some big changes that may not be very comfortable; you can resist and perpuate that or you can move with the universe. More on that next time.

Creating with words

I know you have all heard the expression be careful what you wish for.... Well, its the same for what you speak. You create with your thoughts and your words so I have an experiment inspired by Mike Dooley.

For the next week or so you will affirm the opposite of what you normally do in regards to say, photos. These days everyone has a camera whether its a Kodiak digital or a phone camera. I used to hate having my picture taken because I never thought I was photogenic but what I discovered was once I started saying out loud 'I am so photogenic, I cannot take a bad picture. The camera loves me' guess what? I haven't taken a bad pic since. Now you can do the same; if you think you are photogenic say the opposite or vice versa. Its a simple and harmless way to prove to yourself that you do in fact, create your reality.

Then once you have proven it to yourself--blow it out--think of the negative things in your life that you could change if you would just stop affirming it!!!!

Understand however, if you have a desire for something, action must accompany the desire. You can't sit in front of the computer and think the ship of your dreams will sail up the driveway. All the same, when you stop affirming that people always act this, that or the other way, when you stop saying you are so tired or busy or stressed and start saying positive things about having so much energy, feeling so great, being so organized that you manage your time so well, that you are so greatful to be so happy and stress-free-when you change your affirmations you WILL see a difference. It might not happen the first day or even the second but keep doing it. Put some emotion behind it, look around and see what there is to be grateful for. The secret for attaining the desires of your heart is to feel good. The secret to feeling good is to refuse to hold onto bad. Just set it free, let go of grudges & anger or resentment, let go of worry; focus on what there is to be grateful for. Its not that your should be happy with what you've got--it's that you should be grateful for what you have. And when you are truly appreciative of the value of what is right there for you--that is when more will be given to you.

You Are A Student!

I talk to so many people that say that they never read any books for self growth. Then they mention that they read the Bible. Duh, the Bible is one of the oldest self growth books ever! But the trouble is that they don't read it often enough and never really reflect on the message.

Many people who do read, listen to or watch our recommended materials don't take any notes while they are reading, listening or watching. How can you hope to get the most out of it if you don't take any notes? When I read a book I put a piece of clean printer paper folded in half inside the book and not only use it for my bookmark, I also write page numbers and notes on it, when I'm done with the book I transfer any of those notes I need to another paper and leave that one in the book. I do this for the next reader whether that be me rereading the book or someone else in the hopes that they will get more out of the book that way.

When I listen to audios or watch videos I take notes so I don't miss anything. I even take notes when I watch Joel Osteen!

Now I know that some of you might be thinking why would she take all these notes? Why does she do personal development? Its a really simple answer. You are a student regardless of your awareness of that fact. You absorb information and you have since day one. You cannot help it you cannot stop it but you can control to a certain extent what content you allow in. The only way to do that is to do your personal development every day. Need more reasons? What if I told you that 95% of the people never make even 100K a year. Ever. And that only 5% control almost every penny in the world. That is a fact. And what separates them from you is desire, willingness to work and never quit and the belief they can do it. Think that's not true? I've got 3 names for you;
Martha Stewart
Bill Gates
Oprah Winfrey

Ever heard the expression.......?

Change the way you see everything and everything will change. That's a deep thought isn't it? And yet lots of people never do that. Last night our town had its monthly meeting and things got rather heated. Angry words were exchanged and some of the board members walked out. I wished that I had been there but I had a conference call I could not miss; not that my being there would have made a real difference but you never know.

The bottom line here is that some of the elected officials refuse to follow the law regarding public meetings (like that an agenda must be posted and no agenda means no meeting) and what a motion that is seconded means. I don't care for politics especially politics in a small town but what I know is that unless these people start seeing each other differently nothing will ever get done. Each has locked into an idea of how the 'others' are and nobody seems willing to give that up. So what we have now is a feud brewing that could really hurt people.

What is being missed here is that for our town, the people on the board are usually the volunteers. There are some that do things around town that aren't on the board but mostly its board members. And understand that there are no paid positions in town at all. So if it snows, someone has to plow. If it floods, someone has to clean up the mud and logs left behind on the streets. Plenty of properties have been bought out by FEMA and are now grenspace. Those must be mowed. All of this is done by volunteers. And many people are mad at each other so some that do most of that volunteer work and not doing it. And the few that are end up having to do much more. Many hands make light work you know. It is August and the town dock is nowhere near the water.

The sad part is that these people are creating their own crap and blaming others for it but its the town that suffers. Its time for people to look at things with a new set of eyes I think. Instead of thinking about the problems and getting upset why not think about some solutions and focus on that. If everyone would just start at a place of understanding that we all want to live in a nice community and that only happens through cooperation then maybe we can work something out instead of just fighting and making things worse.

Suprise!

Yes its true, I am blogging two days in a row!!!! Haven't done that in a while! Is that discipline or what?

I had a very busy day today too and I still carved out a wee small bit of time to make this happen which shows me I can do that at least every other day. No excuses. It doesn't matter if I don't have a thousand followers that comment on all my posts, what if I am the only one who reads this? Isn't that what matters? So does that mean if I blog every day I don't have to keep a journal anymore? No it does not.

So what could you do if you made a decision and stuck to it?

It's all about discilpine

Your results in life are all about your discipline. Notice that I say this and yet I have not disciplined myself to post to my blog on a regular basis? I could make an excuse and say; oh nobody really reads it, I don't have tiem or they never submit comments, and so on but the truth of the matter is that it is not a priority. Why is that? No cheese down that hole. What does that mean?

It means that writing this blog has not been as fulfilling as I had planned. Part of that is because I haven't had that many viewers but part of it is that I had no clear direction when I created this blog so its been a mishmash of dross that no one apparently misses when its not there. now that is not me feeling sorry for myself, that is me acknowledging that I failed to adequately plan and produce not only quality but consistency.

I say all of this because I hope that you can see that planning is crucial to success. You can't set out to have a great blog that millions flock to and then it just happens any more than you can sit down and write a bestselling book. What you end up with is wasted time, effort and something nobody wants to read. Yes, I do know that I am a competent writer but attracting followers isn't just about the writing. The subjects, the writers personality and a lot more come thru too but ultimately its having a plan and being consistent with it for blogging or for anything else in life that brings success. You pay the price of discilpine or you pay the price of regret; either way you gotta pay.

Hope you all learned something here today. If you did that's great, find something in your life that you do in a halfassed way and either stop doing it or master it--there is no in between.

Did I really write that last post?

I will start with a nice picture to set the mood I guess. Duders was sleeping here. I suppose that he was getting a drink and thought it would be great to get a nap so close to the water but then I disturbed him taking photos. It did look better when he was asleep and one could see that here is a guy that has no home, no steady source of provisions and no one to love him and yet he is the happiest little guy you could meet! He is happy just to exist and we could all learn a lot from him.

Now, on to my title; if you know me that last post was very unlike me. I guess its kind of like drunk dialing--you just shouldn't do it! Life has been a rollercoaster ride this last year and I know that sometimes you must get to where you want to go in a way you would never have picked for yourself. I think about Nelson Mandella; there he was with a life sentence and thinking that he would never reach his goals but then one day the light shone donw on him and he thought 'What if this is what it looks like while it's happening?' The rest is history isn't it? And for me and for you it is no different. We put out to the universe what it is that we want and if we don't resist too much, we stay in belief, & take action every day then the universe takes us where we say we want to go.

So after I wrote my last post I got to thinking about resistance and allowing. What you resist persists. That is not to say that you should never stand up for what it is that you want; it's that you focus on the solution not the problem. Allow what you want to come to you and yes, I do know that takes practice, we all have to learn new skill sets sometimes and if you fall down once in a while get back up and start over. you can only lose if you quit.

Am I Serious?

Recently I have been very challenged. I say that I want to help people understand what is possible for us all and yet I do not regularly post now do I? Things have not been going according to my plan and that has been allowed to interfere with my life. It has also caused me to question whether or not the universe is in agreement with me about my ability as a coach.

Last month the mayor had congestive heart failure. For a bit they didn't think he'd make it. A lot of that was because when he finally realized that he needed to go to the hospital the ambulance took 35 minutes to arrive. I could have had him at the hospital in 40 minutes or less but I didn't know that the 35 minutes was an average time around here. I guess I should have figured this being the middle of nowhere and they being all volunteer, but hey, I have not needed them in the twenty something years I've been here.

This would have been bad enough but we have been striving for over a year to recover from losses we experienced since Nov of 2007. We keep what we want in front of us and we act on it but it seems that the universe puts up concrete walls to block us. So we say ok, lets do plan B, then ok let's do plan C and so on until we are now on something like plan x and still hitting walls. But I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and that light is so very welcome.

I know that this is all for a reason and that we have had something to learn and much growing to do but........

So I remind myself that I only need to think about what I DO want and not give energy to what I don't want. The only time you really lose is when you quit. And no I am not talking about a game like baseball where when the game is over and there is a clear winner and loser, I am talking about in the game of life where each day is an opportunity to win.

Did You Miss Me?

Yes, it has been awhile since you last heard from me, hasn't it. Sorry about that, I took a vacation of sorts. A family member was ill and that kept me pretty busy and at the same time gave me lots of time to reflect on things.

You know so often today we tell ourselves a story of how busy we are and let ourselves off the hook when it comes to thinking. Most of us do very little real thinking and that is what I wanted to talk about today.

Because I spent time visiting at the hospital I had many opportunities to hear people speaking even when I didn't want to. I know some people love to hear what is on other peoples minds but for me, what I all too often hear is the opinions that people have been fed by the media. Many people think that everything that they hear or read in the news is 100% true and it does not occur to them that; A. they are only getting the part of the story that sutis the writer B. it may not be true at all but they don't have to be as vocal about retractions and C. every story is designed to lead you to form a certain opinion based on slanted information that suits the bias of the media outlet. Sensationalism sells.

And what sensatinalism also does is pollute your mind with others opinions, relieving you of the obligation to think. Here is an example; do you vote in presidential elections? Do you read each party's platform before you decide who to vote for? Most people do not. Isn't that a scary thought? Most of what people think about is what other people have given them to think about and not thoughts that they have generated for themsleves.

So make a decision today; spent 5 minutes today thinking. Pick a subject you believe in and ask yourself why do I believe this? Repeat that tomorrow and make it a new habit, gradually increasing the time you actually spend in thought until you reach 30 or 60 minutes-your choice-then see if you haven't started making some positive changes in your life based on the thoughts you have begun to have.

I know, I know......

Yes, I know that many people do not understand how it is that they create what they have in their life. Lots of folks think that life is happening TO them instead of life happening through them. But that is what happens to us all. We create with our thoughts and beliefs (and most of our thoughts come from our beliefs) so when we look around at what our life is and we don't like it then we simply need to pay attention to what we think about most of the time.

What you focus on increases so if you think about how much you want to get out of debt what you end up with is endless debt. Why is that? Because the universe does not differentiate between get in or get out; it only hears debt and it creates. Instead of thinking about debt one needs to think about wealth. But I'm getting ahead of myself for many of you. Next post I will discuss the basic laws of the universe. And before you dismiss that as poppycock I suggest you consider that you really have no ability to prove or disprove anything. No one does. So what we learn to do is accept certain things . You cannot prove the sun will rise tomorrow but you will still expect it to. You can't prove it rose this morning but you 'know' it did. Same with yesterday.

And if that isn't something to think about I don't know what is.......

I will also leave you with a lovely pic of some Japanese Iris' to contemplate--see above.

Sticks and stones.....

I'm sure you remember the saying; 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me'. But words do hurt and those aren't just words someone says to you that can hurt they are words you say to yourself and the words that come out of your mouth.

I'm sure you knew most of that already. Why do I say most? Because many people do not realize how damaging they are to their own self until they actually stop and listen to that little voice of 'self-talk' that we all have in our head. That's the voice of defeat that says why bother, you won't win. You can't do it. You never get that lucky, and I could go on and on and on and on but you get the picture. Until you replace that voice with one of positive messages it will always hurt you.

The other way that words can hurt you is the words that you use in casual conversations without even giving them thought. The strangest secret in the world is that we become what we think about. If we think about things going wrong for us, they do. If we think about losing, we do. Get the picture? But its also that what we believe on the deepest levels is revealed when we speak. Do you find yourself talking about not 'being able to afford that' or 'it must be nice', maybe you say 'I wish', 'I can't, I'll never be able to..., truly the list of negative affirmations people make is endless.

Ever had someone greet you, ask how you are and you reply something like 'I've be better' or 'I'd be okay if...' or maybe you replied in a sarcastic voice 'oh just peachy'--this is another list that is endless. Every word that pops out of your mouth matters. Every single word.

Oh you say you don't see it? No problem, try this test. Spend a day paying attention to the lack that you speak. Then spend the next day not speaking any of that. Next time you go to say, a store with a parking lot that is busy, try not saying oh I'll never get a good parking spot. Don't even think that. Instead without adding anything negative at the end; the universe is smiling on me today, a spot will open up as I pull up. If you aren't going somewhere that you have to park, think of another exampe where you would normally expect less than the best and reverse that. Expect something good to happen to you and affirm that. Tell people that you are 'lucky' (I put that into parentheses because there is no such thing as luck) and good things always happen to you, and smile when you say that.Do that because while words can hurt you words can also propser you--if you use them wisely.

What is Your Capacity?

Books, plays and movies have been made about the meaning of life and no concensus has really ever been reached on that. Can anyone say definatively what the meaning of life is? I say if you look at nature you find your answer.

How tall will a tree grow? As tall as it can. How long will a tree live? As long as it can. It is the same with every plant, every animal except humans. The Catalpa trees I wrote about recently are older than most Catalpa trees live but you see, the Catalpas don't know that because they don't get together with others of their kind and discuss that. So they live on and grow larger than others of their kind. Why is that? A tree only knows how to move forward so to speak. It doesn't know about limitation. Sure it understands seasons and follows the rules of nature but it does not place limits on itself. Those tow Catalpa trees are huge, they totally dwarf the buidling behind them which is a converted carriage house and garage. The trunk of the tree on the right is so large I think you could put an elephant on one side of it and not be able to see the elephant from the other side. And it continues to grow because that is its purpose. Its not to reproduce; that tree has done that many times over, so mission accomplished and whats left? Simply to grow and bring joy and beauty to the world. That is your job too.

What's that, you say that you are not a tree? Your human life is really no different than a trees. We are meant to grow and grow and grow. Sadly many of us feed our bodies several times a day and our minds? If we feed our mind anything at all it is usually junk food. What is mind junk food you say? That would be negative information, the news, gossip, that sort of thing. We often do not do any real thinking and the result is that we let others do our thinking for us. This diet of nothing that improves our mind is what leads to stagnation. To being buffeted about by circumstances instead of leading a life by design. To being a slave to what others think of us and for us. I remember a while back there was a move that was released called 'The Secret'. It swept the world by storm and if you never heard of it I would find that interesting all by itself. Now if you saw the move and loved it but did no further exploration into personal development shame on you. That move was an introduction-not the full semester, not the entire cirriculum-and it was intended to share the basics, to invite the world to learn, to grow --to increase capacity.

So what did you to today it grow your capacity? Did you read a good personal development book, listen to an audio, watch a good personal development movie? You say you like mainstream movies; well pd movies are out there. One example is the movie; The Pursuit of Happyness. Seen it? Watch it again. But back to you; did you do any real reflection or thinking? Did you write in a journal (do you even have a journal?) did you do any visualization? Do you have your goals written down? Do you even have a mission statement for your life? In other words--what did you do to grow today little tree?????

What are Your Habits Telling You--and Me?

Every one of us grew up knowing about habits--or did we? Sure we were told about not developing bad habits like smoking, to develop good habits like execise and the infamous 'habits are hard to break', but have you ever really given habits much thought? Or were you thinking about 'behaviors' of your own that were either good or bad habits (which I might add is totally a judgement thing) instead of what exactly a habit is?

It is my opinion that habits are no more easy or difficult to form or break than we decide them to be. Why is that, you say? Because habits, good, bad or indifferent are what is going on inside us and showing up on the outside. And a habit is simply an action, a thought or way of being that is performed repeatedly. This means that what you think and believe about yourself, whats possible for you & who you really are is showing up in those actions, thoughts and behaviors.

So you might decide to start a new health regime but, and this is a really big but, your habitual thought is that you are lazy, or unworthy or don't have the time, whatever it may be will build walls for you that not only allow you to not develop those new habits but in fact, perpetuate that belief of not being able to....

So you can stay stuck in those habits which do not move you forward. But there is good news. You can change habits that do not serve you. How, you ask? By understanding that habits are formed one action, thought or behavior at a time and giving some real thought as to why you have the habits that you have. So let me give you an example;

Say you are out of shape and have packed on some pounds; the new habit doesn't start with joining a health club and starving yourself--it starts with seeing that your opinion of yourself is reflected in the mirror and then evaluating that opinion. Most of the time our feeling of self worth is based on BS. Get your thinking straight, if you have done something you think justifies your low opinion of you then fix it. Once you have fixed it or if you can't fix it, either way does not matter, then forgive yourself. What can you do about yesterday? Pretty much nothing right? You only have here and now. There is no magic to this; its a simple decision with only as much baggage as YOU pack. Think of a child that has gotten into something he or she was told not to touch and in doing so has broken that item, does that behavior need to be punished over and over?

The next step is to understand that habits are formed one degree at a time and you only need to shoot for one degree better every day & that relieves you of the pressure of thinking, say; that yesterday you were Pigpen (from the comic strip Peanuts) but today you are Martha Stewart. If you do that you will defeat yourself and perpuate self defeat. But if you start the day understanding that you only need to take one step, one baby step, towards that new positive habit, then you wake up knowing that you can do that--easily & with one hand tied behind your back so to speak. You repeat this every morning and discover that habits are simply things that are repeated and that you do have the power over your habits & not vice-versa.

What a Day I'm Having!

So I was a busy girl today, trying to take out one of my gardens before it rained, phone appointments, trying to get the property ready for the prospective owners--you know the normal sort of stuff.

That garden has had some of its flowers in it for over one hundred years so you can understand that this was a major undertaking.

I managed to get more than half out before a major, and I do mean major gully washer hit. Some Liatris, Suprise Lilies and a ton of bulbs are all that is left and now they will have to wait for several days at least before I can get them. Yes, I know that it will not make the property look better for the buyers but my reasoning is that people like flowers until they have to weed the gardens so they will like seeing one of the gardens going away. That much more they won't have to do right? By the time they can close and move in the grass will be up and the garden a dim memory. I haven't really weeded it so far this year (too much rain!) and the grass has already made some inroads. I gave away half of what I pulled out of that garden--yay--so I shared the bounty.

This picture does not do the Catalpa trees any real justice but what the heck, its been a long day and you still get the idea of the size of them. you can sort of see the parlor of my house in the background. The trees make it look like a dollhouse though don't they. One of the trees is so large it could be eligible for a state record. What I wish you could see in more detail is the flowers all over the trees. You can smell their lovely fragrace a long way away. It's been blooming for over a week and has peaked plus with this storm I don't know how much longer I will see flowers on it. Those flowers and the Catalpa worms (that happen to be the best fish bait in the world) are pretty much the only things that make having Catalpa's tolerable.

And why is that? I'm glad you asked; Catalpa trees have what are often referred to as 'Lady finger cigars' and not just a few but one on every single spot it can. And those cigars hold the seeds--oh yeah, did mention those cigars are about 15 inches long? And loaded with Catalpa seeds which fall in the Spring. So not only do you have to clean up the 'sticks' when the cigars burst open and fall from the tree, you also have to pull a million and seven tree sprouts for the next two months. What you say, I promised to talk about habits and all I have written is about the yard?

Hmmm...could it be that I am procrastinating? Is procrastinating maybe a, I dunno, habit? Bingo! And is, say sharing the bounty of my gardens perhaps a habit? Why yes it is my habit to share beautiful things. The difference is; one habit serves me and the other does not. Even more on habits next time......

The Changeling Hosta

This is one of my Hostas. It used to be totally verigated. For like ten years. Last year it started growing leaves that are non-verigated. Now you might think that there is some hybrid thing going on here but I don't know. Its not been damaged, not diseased (that I know of) and not near any Hostas even remotely like it, in fact it is near identical Hostas. And those other Hostas are not changing at all. So I have decided that this particular Hosta wants to change into a non-varigated variety and that must be tough because it is taking it years to totally transform itself. Now you might think that plants cannot will themselves to change because they lack a brain and yet... studies have shown that plants respond to music so I answer you don't know that a plant has no capacity to think. Perhaps they have instinct. But I digress....

I was discussing change. These days most people want things to change and yet when those changes start they may look like something you don't want at all. Or they may feel very uncomfortable. What you need to understand tho is that for change to happen you must allow it not fight it. You may have to give something up in order to get what you say you want. If you have lack and you want abundance then you must give up everything connected to lack. And I mean everything. You don't have to kick anybody or anything out the door, quite the contrary. Lack will leave on its own once you allow abundance to flow in.

So what's the trick? You must think thoughts of abundance. You can't sit around and think about eveything thats wrong or bad and expect good to flow to you. And you have to appreciate what you already have. It's simple but not always easy. Lack thought is a habit. More about habits next time.

Saws

Not sure everyone knows what a 'saw' is; its an expression like 'Birds of a feather flock together.' Today I was reminded of a particular saw that you might not have heard before.

Everywhere you go, there you are.

So obviously it means that you should be the kind of person that you want to be around because you can never go away from you. Sure you can try to drink or drug yourself away but really that doesn't work now does it.

Most of the time people who want to get away from themselves don't do so for what they have done but for something that they should have done or should do. For one reason or another, often it is fear, they play small and end up not wanting to be there for the results.

This is a picture of a male Baltimore Oriole. they had sort of a bumpy ride with this feeder this year but they refused to become afraid. The oranges and jelly they wanted-their desire-was stronger than any fear they might have had. See the feeder has suction cups to attach it to the window and the suction cups didn't want to stick so I might get the feeder to hold the wieght of the oranges and jelly glasses but when a bird landed on the feeder the whole ting would end up on the ground. Then enough rain fell here and north of here that the river flooded the main drag and traffic was rerouted down our street. But still the birds came. There are Warblers, Orioles and Indigo Buntings that love this feeder and they are not particularly socialble birds. A strong enough desire can take you right past fear if you let it.

It's Discipline.

Yeah so, been busy lately and I really want to go into the house and watch the premeire of Glee or Dancing With The Stars; we have east and west coast network channels so I can watch one of them later but not both and if I TIVO'd them I'd never get around to watching it anyway but I need to do things--like this blog entry--and you either pay the price of discipline or you pay the price of regret but either way you must pay. And that is true about every single aspect of your life.
You eat right or pay the price later. You excerise or pay the price later. I think you get my point.
Now this is where it gets interesting; some things seem like a heavy price at the beginning but long term that is when the real cost shows up and you see the hard road was the easy road in disguise. So while you can easily see why discipline in nutrition and activity makes such a difference you may not get the connection to all of your habits including habitual ways of thinking. You are what you think about all day long. If you are the kind of person who listens to radio or tv programs that are all about negativity then negativity shows up in your life b/c it can't not show up.
People who constantly worry about their health ususally have health concerns. I have a neighbor who is constantly concerned with his health. In the past year he has been in the hospital a half dozen times. And since he moved here several years ago that has been his pattern. He has developed a number of health conditions including diabetes for which he lost 3 toes last year. And I could go on about his conditions but I think you can see that he focuses on being sick so he is sick. I myself focus on being grateful for my health and so I am healthy. That was not always the case. I was born with a condition that caused me great pain for a number of years until I learned that I had everything to do with my health; now I am pain free for over 2 years. It's all a matter of what you think about.