Did You Miss Me?

Yes, it has been awhile since you last heard from me, hasn't it. Sorry about that, I took a vacation of sorts. A family member was ill and that kept me pretty busy and at the same time gave me lots of time to reflect on things.

You know so often today we tell ourselves a story of how busy we are and let ourselves off the hook when it comes to thinking. Most of us do very little real thinking and that is what I wanted to talk about today.

Because I spent time visiting at the hospital I had many opportunities to hear people speaking even when I didn't want to. I know some people love to hear what is on other peoples minds but for me, what I all too often hear is the opinions that people have been fed by the media. Many people think that everything that they hear or read in the news is 100% true and it does not occur to them that; A. they are only getting the part of the story that sutis the writer B. it may not be true at all but they don't have to be as vocal about retractions and C. every story is designed to lead you to form a certain opinion based on slanted information that suits the bias of the media outlet. Sensationalism sells.

And what sensatinalism also does is pollute your mind with others opinions, relieving you of the obligation to think. Here is an example; do you vote in presidential elections? Do you read each party's platform before you decide who to vote for? Most people do not. Isn't that a scary thought? Most of what people think about is what other people have given them to think about and not thoughts that they have generated for themsleves.

So make a decision today; spent 5 minutes today thinking. Pick a subject you believe in and ask yourself why do I believe this? Repeat that tomorrow and make it a new habit, gradually increasing the time you actually spend in thought until you reach 30 or 60 minutes-your choice-then see if you haven't started making some positive changes in your life based on the thoughts you have begun to have.

I know, I know......

Yes, I know that many people do not understand how it is that they create what they have in their life. Lots of folks think that life is happening TO them instead of life happening through them. But that is what happens to us all. We create with our thoughts and beliefs (and most of our thoughts come from our beliefs) so when we look around at what our life is and we don't like it then we simply need to pay attention to what we think about most of the time.

What you focus on increases so if you think about how much you want to get out of debt what you end up with is endless debt. Why is that? Because the universe does not differentiate between get in or get out; it only hears debt and it creates. Instead of thinking about debt one needs to think about wealth. But I'm getting ahead of myself for many of you. Next post I will discuss the basic laws of the universe. And before you dismiss that as poppycock I suggest you consider that you really have no ability to prove or disprove anything. No one does. So what we learn to do is accept certain things . You cannot prove the sun will rise tomorrow but you will still expect it to. You can't prove it rose this morning but you 'know' it did. Same with yesterday.

And if that isn't something to think about I don't know what is.......

I will also leave you with a lovely pic of some Japanese Iris' to contemplate--see above.

Sticks and stones.....

I'm sure you remember the saying; 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me'. But words do hurt and those aren't just words someone says to you that can hurt they are words you say to yourself and the words that come out of your mouth.

I'm sure you knew most of that already. Why do I say most? Because many people do not realize how damaging they are to their own self until they actually stop and listen to that little voice of 'self-talk' that we all have in our head. That's the voice of defeat that says why bother, you won't win. You can't do it. You never get that lucky, and I could go on and on and on and on but you get the picture. Until you replace that voice with one of positive messages it will always hurt you.

The other way that words can hurt you is the words that you use in casual conversations without even giving them thought. The strangest secret in the world is that we become what we think about. If we think about things going wrong for us, they do. If we think about losing, we do. Get the picture? But its also that what we believe on the deepest levels is revealed when we speak. Do you find yourself talking about not 'being able to afford that' or 'it must be nice', maybe you say 'I wish', 'I can't, I'll never be able to..., truly the list of negative affirmations people make is endless.

Ever had someone greet you, ask how you are and you reply something like 'I've be better' or 'I'd be okay if...' or maybe you replied in a sarcastic voice 'oh just peachy'--this is another list that is endless. Every word that pops out of your mouth matters. Every single word.

Oh you say you don't see it? No problem, try this test. Spend a day paying attention to the lack that you speak. Then spend the next day not speaking any of that. Next time you go to say, a store with a parking lot that is busy, try not saying oh I'll never get a good parking spot. Don't even think that. Instead without adding anything negative at the end; the universe is smiling on me today, a spot will open up as I pull up. If you aren't going somewhere that you have to park, think of another exampe where you would normally expect less than the best and reverse that. Expect something good to happen to you and affirm that. Tell people that you are 'lucky' (I put that into parentheses because there is no such thing as luck) and good things always happen to you, and smile when you say that.Do that because while words can hurt you words can also propser you--if you use them wisely.

What is Your Capacity?

Books, plays and movies have been made about the meaning of life and no concensus has really ever been reached on that. Can anyone say definatively what the meaning of life is? I say if you look at nature you find your answer.

How tall will a tree grow? As tall as it can. How long will a tree live? As long as it can. It is the same with every plant, every animal except humans. The Catalpa trees I wrote about recently are older than most Catalpa trees live but you see, the Catalpas don't know that because they don't get together with others of their kind and discuss that. So they live on and grow larger than others of their kind. Why is that? A tree only knows how to move forward so to speak. It doesn't know about limitation. Sure it understands seasons and follows the rules of nature but it does not place limits on itself. Those tow Catalpa trees are huge, they totally dwarf the buidling behind them which is a converted carriage house and garage. The trunk of the tree on the right is so large I think you could put an elephant on one side of it and not be able to see the elephant from the other side. And it continues to grow because that is its purpose. Its not to reproduce; that tree has done that many times over, so mission accomplished and whats left? Simply to grow and bring joy and beauty to the world. That is your job too.

What's that, you say that you are not a tree? Your human life is really no different than a trees. We are meant to grow and grow and grow. Sadly many of us feed our bodies several times a day and our minds? If we feed our mind anything at all it is usually junk food. What is mind junk food you say? That would be negative information, the news, gossip, that sort of thing. We often do not do any real thinking and the result is that we let others do our thinking for us. This diet of nothing that improves our mind is what leads to stagnation. To being buffeted about by circumstances instead of leading a life by design. To being a slave to what others think of us and for us. I remember a while back there was a move that was released called 'The Secret'. It swept the world by storm and if you never heard of it I would find that interesting all by itself. Now if you saw the move and loved it but did no further exploration into personal development shame on you. That move was an introduction-not the full semester, not the entire cirriculum-and it was intended to share the basics, to invite the world to learn, to grow --to increase capacity.

So what did you to today it grow your capacity? Did you read a good personal development book, listen to an audio, watch a good personal development movie? You say you like mainstream movies; well pd movies are out there. One example is the movie; The Pursuit of Happyness. Seen it? Watch it again. But back to you; did you do any real reflection or thinking? Did you write in a journal (do you even have a journal?) did you do any visualization? Do you have your goals written down? Do you even have a mission statement for your life? In other words--what did you do to grow today little tree?????

What are Your Habits Telling You--and Me?

Every one of us grew up knowing about habits--or did we? Sure we were told about not developing bad habits like smoking, to develop good habits like execise and the infamous 'habits are hard to break', but have you ever really given habits much thought? Or were you thinking about 'behaviors' of your own that were either good or bad habits (which I might add is totally a judgement thing) instead of what exactly a habit is?

It is my opinion that habits are no more easy or difficult to form or break than we decide them to be. Why is that, you say? Because habits, good, bad or indifferent are what is going on inside us and showing up on the outside. And a habit is simply an action, a thought or way of being that is performed repeatedly. This means that what you think and believe about yourself, whats possible for you & who you really are is showing up in those actions, thoughts and behaviors.

So you might decide to start a new health regime but, and this is a really big but, your habitual thought is that you are lazy, or unworthy or don't have the time, whatever it may be will build walls for you that not only allow you to not develop those new habits but in fact, perpetuate that belief of not being able to....

So you can stay stuck in those habits which do not move you forward. But there is good news. You can change habits that do not serve you. How, you ask? By understanding that habits are formed one action, thought or behavior at a time and giving some real thought as to why you have the habits that you have. So let me give you an example;

Say you are out of shape and have packed on some pounds; the new habit doesn't start with joining a health club and starving yourself--it starts with seeing that your opinion of yourself is reflected in the mirror and then evaluating that opinion. Most of the time our feeling of self worth is based on BS. Get your thinking straight, if you have done something you think justifies your low opinion of you then fix it. Once you have fixed it or if you can't fix it, either way does not matter, then forgive yourself. What can you do about yesterday? Pretty much nothing right? You only have here and now. There is no magic to this; its a simple decision with only as much baggage as YOU pack. Think of a child that has gotten into something he or she was told not to touch and in doing so has broken that item, does that behavior need to be punished over and over?

The next step is to understand that habits are formed one degree at a time and you only need to shoot for one degree better every day & that relieves you of the pressure of thinking, say; that yesterday you were Pigpen (from the comic strip Peanuts) but today you are Martha Stewart. If you do that you will defeat yourself and perpuate self defeat. But if you start the day understanding that you only need to take one step, one baby step, towards that new positive habit, then you wake up knowing that you can do that--easily & with one hand tied behind your back so to speak. You repeat this every morning and discover that habits are simply things that are repeated and that you do have the power over your habits & not vice-versa.

What a Day I'm Having!

So I was a busy girl today, trying to take out one of my gardens before it rained, phone appointments, trying to get the property ready for the prospective owners--you know the normal sort of stuff.

That garden has had some of its flowers in it for over one hundred years so you can understand that this was a major undertaking.

I managed to get more than half out before a major, and I do mean major gully washer hit. Some Liatris, Suprise Lilies and a ton of bulbs are all that is left and now they will have to wait for several days at least before I can get them. Yes, I know that it will not make the property look better for the buyers but my reasoning is that people like flowers until they have to weed the gardens so they will like seeing one of the gardens going away. That much more they won't have to do right? By the time they can close and move in the grass will be up and the garden a dim memory. I haven't really weeded it so far this year (too much rain!) and the grass has already made some inroads. I gave away half of what I pulled out of that garden--yay--so I shared the bounty.

This picture does not do the Catalpa trees any real justice but what the heck, its been a long day and you still get the idea of the size of them. you can sort of see the parlor of my house in the background. The trees make it look like a dollhouse though don't they. One of the trees is so large it could be eligible for a state record. What I wish you could see in more detail is the flowers all over the trees. You can smell their lovely fragrace a long way away. It's been blooming for over a week and has peaked plus with this storm I don't know how much longer I will see flowers on it. Those flowers and the Catalpa worms (that happen to be the best fish bait in the world) are pretty much the only things that make having Catalpa's tolerable.

And why is that? I'm glad you asked; Catalpa trees have what are often referred to as 'Lady finger cigars' and not just a few but one on every single spot it can. And those cigars hold the seeds--oh yeah, did mention those cigars are about 15 inches long? And loaded with Catalpa seeds which fall in the Spring. So not only do you have to clean up the 'sticks' when the cigars burst open and fall from the tree, you also have to pull a million and seven tree sprouts for the next two months. What you say, I promised to talk about habits and all I have written is about the yard?

Hmmm...could it be that I am procrastinating? Is procrastinating maybe a, I dunno, habit? Bingo! And is, say sharing the bounty of my gardens perhaps a habit? Why yes it is my habit to share beautiful things. The difference is; one habit serves me and the other does not. Even more on habits next time......