A Bit of ‘Tude on Tuesday

Yeah that’s right, gonna be talking about your ‘tude today. If you can make the connection between your attitude and everything about your life & you are living into that then congratulations, you are on the right track. But if you are not, then this posts for you.

I can’t tell you how much my life has improved since I realized that I had a bad attitude and changed it. Today I have an attitude of gratitude and that has made all the difference.

So how do you know if you have a bad attitude? it’s in the little things usually. Say you go shopping, there are great deals, you run into some old friends that you haven’t seen for a long time, you find exactly what you wanted in record time and yet later when someone asks you about your day you say something like; I had a terrible time finding a parking space. Or say your child cleans his or her room and asks you to come look. Everything looks great but one little thing. You may not say anything to the child but it was so very noticeable to you. Sort of like going into a hotel room in Hawaii, looking out the window and seeing only the water spots on the glass instead of the view. Perhaps your partner wants to buy a car or a house and all you think about it the taxes or insurance costs. You try a new restaurant and the food is all great except one side dish was not warm enough. When someone asks you about the restaurant you only mention the side dish that you didn’t like. These examples could go on but I think you get my point.

Know anyone that always complains? A complaint is the opposite of gratitude and I think if you give it much thought or study you will notice that the persons list of complaints never end because his or her life never improves. Why is that? Because they focus on what they don’t like. What you focus on increases. So spend some time every day thinking about what was great and if that is a challenge then spend 5 minutes every day making a list of at least 5 things you are grateful for. Seriously-take a look around you and see that you are surrounded by things to be grateful for.

Stay the Course!

Determination. What does that word mean to you? To me it is part decision, part discipline and part orneriness because you have to have decided what it is that you want, you have to take the actions that will make it happen and you have to be stubborn enough to never give up even when faced with apparent failure.

Thomas Edison tried thousands of times to invent a working incandecent light bulb before he finally succeeded. Henry Ford went bankrupt several times before he became wealthy. these are but two examples of many people who have wanted something and been unwilling to give up until they got it.

I believe that Edison said it best when asked about all his previous failures to invent the incandecent bulb; “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

So what could you achieve in life if you had a dream and you never saw failure in anything? What could you do if you were determined?

Let’s Review….

It occurs to me that a regular visit to the elements of self growth is probably a good idea.

And since I am brimming with good ideas, I think that we should start with expectations, which come from your beliefs. So you may be asking; then why not start with beliefs? Ah, here's the thing—you do not always know what your true belief is. So that is the value of examining your expectations because that reveals your true belief.

You can fool yourself on your beliefs until it is time to take action, then its out there but you have to pay attention. Let me give you an example;

My friend, we shall call her Lana today, is a very kind soul and she decided to help out a former neighbor by giving him a place to stay for a few days. The second day he was there she noticed a pack of her cigarettes (yes, but we do not judge people here)  missing. When she asked him if he took a pack, he said yes, but he was going to replace them. She told him that he should have asked, and that she expected him to ask in the future. The next morning she went for a walk but before she left she counted the cigarettes in her pack and sure enough, when she got back one of them was gone. She expected him to take it and he did. Her belief was negative and the result was negative. In life there is no mulligan so we cannot prove that her belief/expectation was the cause of the result.

That is a small and somewhat unusual example but I know that if you really give it some thought you can see examples of people in your life that did exactly what you ‘expected’ them to do. Especially when the expectation was negative. I know people that ‘expect’  to be sick on important days, or to have car trouble. Ever hear the words (or say them) ‘I knew it……’ Ever hear of Murphy’s Law? That is a perfect example of negative expectations. You think its true because that is life instead of seeing that it is true because that is your belief. Your beliefs create your life. So start paying attention to what it is that you ‘expect’ every day.

I end this post with a quote;

You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your experience. The David that you are sculpting is you. And you do it with your thoughts.

Joe Vitale

As If

Ever gotten the advice ‘act as if’ you already have whatever it is that you want? Now, when I was new to this sort of self growth stuff that advice seemed waaayyy out there. For some of the things I wanted I had no experience with what it felt like to have it so how was I supposed to act? Not a clue. Or else what I wanted involved others and ‘acting’ just wasn’t going to work. Or was it……

Yeah, I gave it some thought and what I realized was what they were really saying was how do you feel when you have something that you wanted? Security, a relationship, that new job, whatever it is that you wanted, how do you feel? You feel happy, you feel serene, you feel grateful, you feel good. And now that you know this you can see that acting as if is all about feeling that feeling of whatever it is that you want to call it, that feeling of joy and satisfaction. There is not a person alive that has not experienced some sort of personal satisfaction; in winning something, in falling in love, in getting a good job, or a great review at your job, something, anything that made you feel great, that is the feeling of as if.

So start acting ‘as if’ today and see for yourself that it works.

In Your Heart of Hearts

The expression in your heart of hearts is meant to reveal what it is deep down inside that you truly believe, desire or think. One thought that we all have deep down inside is the thought of unworthiness.

What do I mean by unworthiness? I mean that people have a poor self-image or low self-esteem, it really doesn’t matter what you call it. And in comes up in thoughts like ‘if they only knew the real me’ or ‘why can’t I be more like….’ and you can fill in the blank. What is the most interesting thing about this is that most of us don’t realize that everyone has these thoughts. Yeah, I know that you are sitting there thinking uhuh, not so and so, he/she thinks too much of his/her self. Oh contrare; so and so simply bluffs. And it gets even more interesting; you can be totally confident in your ability to do or have something and yet be totally lacking confidence in every or many other areas of your life. And that is why you may see so and so looking ever so poised all the time.

But you say this can not be so? Surely not for everyone! It is true for everyone that has not come to the true realization that we are all human and we are not going to be perfect all of the time or really any of the time. Think of it this way; why do you love the people that you love? Like the people that you like? Are they more special than you? You might tell yourself that they have this that or the other quality that you lack but that is just a story you made up. We all have the capacity & capability to generate what we choose to generate. And anyone you envy; are they better than you? No. More talented? No. And yet, some of you are sitting there thinking that you must be something other than who you are to be worthy. True self worth comes from within and never from anywhere else. If you have any thoughts of inadequacy than decide today to let that go. Embrace the fact that you are the only you on the planet and you are the best you there is. Nobody can be you better than you can. Remember what Shakespeare said; ‘To thine own self be true.’ Which is better; imitation vanilla or real vanilla? When you are authentically you the life you lead will be one you can be confident in, knowing that we all are the same deep down inside.