Forgive and Forget?

So if you read my last post and did the gratitude exercise its time to take that a step further. If you didn’t go read it now and make that list then come back.

Okay, now that we are all ready and we have our lists in front of us, look at the list and write on a separate sheet of paper how the things you are grateful for make you feel. If there is no passion in your gratitude then it is time for a shift. Usually that shift involves forgiveness. Yeah, I know. You don’t see the connection. You aren’t mad at the things you are thankful for so where am I going?

Anger and guilt are the two feelings that block most peoples joy. When you feel guilt or anger it clouds everything in your life. And here is the funny part of that; most people feel that anger and guilt for themselves. Oh sure, you might, well ok, you probably have anger for others but that pales in comparison to what you dish out to yourself.

And how do I know this? Take a look around you. See all those people who overeat? Are depressed? Drink too much? Maybe do drugs? Gamble a lot? Shop? This is only a partial list of self-destructive behaviors but it illustrates what I am saying about anger and guilt. Self-loathing is the cause for self-destruction and that comes from refusing to forgive yourself and others. You just have to let it go and start seeing the good in yourself. And in others.

And why am I going on and on about forgiving yourself when this post is really about forgiving others? Because when you start to see that you are your own worst critic, that you did internalize every critical word said to you by others, that you punish yourself for not being perfect, only then can you start to let go of that and understand that A) nobody is perfect B) everyone makes mistakes and C) most of us don’t do things that hurt others on purpose-we don’t set out to be ‘bad’ then you can choose to live a life of compassion and forgiveness, you can see that being human means being imperfect and that is never equal to being unlovable.

Learn to forgive yourself and forgiving others is a piece of cake. Start today. Write down what you are good at, what is good about you and what you can get better at with practice or determination. Change the way you look at yourself and the self you look at will change.