Top 10 Ways to Make Sure You Never End Up in a Retirement Home

I am feeling perverse today-maybe its the economy! I talked to a new Distributor last nite & he said he was suprised how few of the overweight/sick people in his office were interested in the products but how many of the healthy people do want product. I asked him to remember before he got on the products--did he remember that he didn't really make the connection between health & food? How sad that people do not remember how rare cancer used to be & see that it is now 1 in 3, yes 1 in 3!!!!! How did this come to pass? Well, many factors including that we used to grow our own food or purchase it from local sources. Our fruits & veggies weren't picked before they were ripe so they had some nutrition. Hormone mimicing pesticides & growth hormones weren't used on crops & livestock. Enough said?
So since there is no magic pill to cure anything why try for a long life when you know you're just going to end up in a nursing home, misrable. lonely & sick-waiting to die? Here are my top 10 recommendations for ensuring that does not happen to you;

1. Drink anything but water. Soda is great for leaching calicum from your body so drink lots of soda!

2. Avoid fiber! Death starts in the colon & fiber is important to a healthy colon not to mention that it aids in weight loss or weight maintanence.

3. Eat fast food or 'conveinence' food all the time. High in sodium, high in calories, sugar & fat, processed foods offer little or no nutritive value & they will help you put on lots of pounds so you can develop life shorteners like high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, etc.

4. Never eat breakfast. Skipping breakfast encourages you to binge later & increases your chance of developing diabetes by over 300%.

5. Don't read the label!!! It's written in fine print for a reason. Just look for the banner touting its so called 'health benefits' like fatfree, fiber rich, etc. Fatfree does not mean low cal or sugar free. Fiber rich does not mean it has more than 1 gram of fiber so if you don't read the label you can tell yourself that you are making "healthy choices".

6. Don't exercise! Face it, exercise is hard work & you have to do it like forever! I don't have time for that, do you have time for that? Of course you don't, all of your favorite shows are available online now!

7. Who needs protein? Potatoes, pasta & rice among other carbohydrates are filling & cheap, who cares if they are not good for you? Besides protein feeds muscle & who has those?

8. Go to your doctor often & ask for any medication you saw a commercial for that sounded just like what you have. Don't ask about side effects, don't ask if it cures anything or just manages sickness, someone has to pay for the doctors BMW!

9. Smoke, Drink alcohol & use as many drugs as you can afford even though these causes of death have been vastly surpassed by obesity related deaths including diabetes, heart disease & others, smoking, drinking & using drugs will accelerate your results.

10. Become a pesimest if you're not already. Hang out with people who see the downside to everything. Watch programs that focus on the negative. Talk incessently about how bad everything is especially your health & voila' you'll find out its even worse that you thought!

So there you are, my top 10 ways to make sure you won't end up in a retirement home. Of course, you could take a hint from Jack LaLane & eat right, exercise and live a healthy life thus never ending up in a nursing home but that is just sooooo much work isn't it???!!!???